"How did I get here?! was the only thing that kept going through my mind while I sat on the hospital bed at St. Jude in Memphis, Tn. The last coule days, even weeks, had gone by so fast it was just a big blur. My life used to be filled with friends, teachers and homework where my biggest problem was what to wear to school that day.
While at school one December day a friend noticed a knot on my neck. I blew it off as nothing but that "nothing" would turn out to be "something" big alright. After setting appointments and a biopsy my doctor would give me the worse news I could ever imagine as a 12 year old girl. He said "Kylie, you have cancer". All I could do was cry. I had an overwhelming feeling of dying and sadness come over me. My mom asked to be referred to St. Jude Children's Hospital.
We just had the weekend to wait and worry before we could travel to the foreign land that was suppose to help whatever was wrong with me. Once we reached St. Jude a multitude of test were run and viles of blood taken. After confirming Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) my new normal became filled with doctors, nurses, needles and medicines. I still had test to take but these I couldn't study for, the results were out of my control.
The side effects were my only indication of the poison that was suppose to save me. I now knew how a drug addict felt, only my drugs was involuntary: it was necessary. I hated taking pills and at one point contemplated just not taking them anymore.
One day a feeling of perfect peace came over me and I knew I would beat this deadly disease. From that moment on I no longer worried about the "big C word". I come to realize that I didn't' do anything to deserve what happened to me but to help someone else through their struggles. When life can be snatched away so easily you look at life, love and family a whole lot differently. Just waking up each day is a blessing.
I'm still working on me honestly but I feel no matter how much we work on ourselves there will always be something in our lives we can improve. After all, we are just humans. So when you get upset and feel down or want to write "FML" (my biggest pet peeve) on your wall, status etc. you just remember it could be worse. You need to find something (anything) that makes you smile or happy and be thankful for it/ them.
